Shelter Home for Senior Citizens and Victims of Domestic Violence

 To monitor the safety of senior citizens in the city, a special cell is likely to be created in the Crime Branch in Delhi, India. This cell will function directly under the supervision of additional commissioner of police (crime) and its modalities are being worked out. It needs not mention that more centers need be opened in all the countries & in all the provinces. Without any loss of more time.

 It is argued that domestic violence is about power and control. The abuser wants to dominate the victim/survivor and wants all the power in the relationship-and uses violence in order to establish and maintain authority and power. Perpetrators of domestic violence are usually not sick or deranged, but have learned abusive, manipulative techniques and behaviors that allow them to dominate and control others and obtain the responses they desire. So legally, they can be held responsible  for their callous behavior. They tend to be too self-centered.

An abuser will often restrict a victim's outlets, forbidding the victim to maintain outside employment, friends, and family ties. This has an isolating effect, leaving victims with no support system, and creating dependency. Abusers also limit a survivor's options by not allowing access to checking accounts, credit cards or other sources of money or financial independence. Perhaps, because the one who holds the purse holds the power.

Perpetrators of domestic violence may constantly criticize, belittle and humiliate their partners. Making the victim to feel worthless, ugly, stupid and crazy does not allow for a survivor's healthy self-perception. Low self-esteem may contribute to victims feeling they deserve the abuse, affecting their ability to see themselves as worthy of better treatment.

Domestic Violence is not just hitting, or fighting, or an occasional argument.  It is a blatant abuse of power.  The abuser tortures and controls the victim by calculated threats, intimidation, and physical violence. . Although both men and women can be abused, in most cases, the victims are women. Children in homes where there is domestic violence are also abused or neglected. Although the woman is usually the primary target, violence is sometimes directed toward children, and sometimes toward family members and friends.

Many women in India are the victims of domestic abuse. Domestic violence is a crime and they must seek help.

Forms of Domestic Violence

Domestic violence can take many forms and variations and can happen once in a while or all at the same time. Domestic violence can be Psychological Abuse, Social Abuse, Financial Abuse, Physical Assault  or Sexual Assault. Violence can be criminal and includes physical assault or injury (hitting, beating, shoving, etc.), sexual abuse ( forced sexual activity), or stalking.

Common forms of violence against Indian women include:

Female feticide (selective abortion based on the fetus gender or sex selection of child), Domestic violence, Dowry death or harassment , Mental and physical torture, Sexual trafficking, and Public humiliation.

Like all women, emigrant women abroad are at high risk for domestic violence, but due to their immigration status there, they may face a more difficult time escaping abuse. Such women often feel trapped abroad in abusive relationships because of immigration laws, language barriers, social isolation,  lack of financial resources and being physically distantly placed from their own parental family, thus lacking back up.. Despite recent  legislation that has opened new and safe routes to immigration status for some immigrant women who are victims of domestic violence, abuse is still a significant problem for them, as it is for all women in the United States, for example. In a Seminar held in Chandigarh on the plight of separated emigrant women, it was suggested by Professor B S Dhall, an author of the book LEGAL PLURALISM that if the world has become a global village, at least physically, due to the improved means of transportation and communication it ought also look like a village mentally too, and that checking domestic violence too is a global responsibility and Indian right-thinking citizens have the moral authority to intervene like some are trying in the US to ameliorate the condition of Afghan & Iranian women. To quote from Vital Voices, a website on global partnership:

Pomogitye Mnye,” the soft-spoken woman whispered into the phone.  “Help me.” 

On the other end of the line, Marina Pisklakova-Parker listened.  The woman told a familiar story.

Marina felt the fear in the caller’s voice - the slight shiver in the words spoken, the sense of apprehension accompanying each statement, and the inevitable pauses that came when the caller could no longer speak through her tears.  Marina used those pauses to reassure the young mother, “I am here.  I will help you.  I am listening”.

And Marina did it . However, all is not well even within the U S:

 A recent study in New York City found that 51 percent of intimate partner homicide

victims were foreign-born, while 45 percent were born in the United States.

 

 Forty-eight percent of Latinas in one study reported that their partner’s violence against them had increased since they immigrated to the United States.

 

 A survey of immigrant Korean women found that 60 percent had been battered by their husbands.

 

Married immigrant women experience higher levels of physical and sexual abuse than

unmarried immigrant women, 59.5 percent compared to 49.8 percent, respectively.

 Abusers often use their partners’ immigration status as a tool of control. In such

situations, it is common for a batterer to exert control over his/her partner’s immigration status in order to force the spouse to remain in the relationship.

 

 Immigrant women often suffer higher rates of battering than U.S. citizens because they may come from cultures that accept domestic violence or because they have less access to legal and social services than U.S. citizens. Additionally, immigrant batterers and victims may believe that the penalties and protections of the U.S. legal system do not apply to them.

 

 Battered immigrant women who attempt to flee may not have access to bilingual shelters, financial assistance, or food. It is also unlikely that they will have the assistance of a certified interpreter in court, when reporting complaints to the police or a 911 operator, or even in acquiring information about their rights and the legal system.

Globalization has provided us an opportunity to reach out to other like-minded organizations around the world and create shared strategies that reduce violence against women and children. Globalization has also, unfortunately, given rise to horrific problems such as the international trafficking of women and girls. Activists in China, India, Mexico and Russia have already cultivated alliances to address all forms of violence, including human trafficking. However, one only hopes that not all this is a hangover of the ideological warfare. There is no reason to exaggerate what happens in the ‘East’ or the ‘West.’ We need to refute the saying that the East is East and the West is West; and never the twain shall meet. But it is nice to see a world now where ideologies are converging. However, one recalls the words of Sarvepalli Radhakrishnan that Cold War is nothing but ideas struggling towards a conclusion and that UNESCO should provide a platform for this struggle between ideas. This would help in building peace in the minds of men. The National Rehabilitation Organization would, thus endeavor not only to resolve the conflict between and among individuals  but also provide a platform for holding Seminars, Conferences and Debates which would help in the resolution of conflict between and among nations. This we shall do in line with the aims and principles of the well-meaning International Organization.

 Assisted living for the senior citizens   would combine housing with personalized and healthcare services.  It would promote independence while providing assistance and care in a warm, home-like residential setting.  Staff would be available 24 hours to meet both scheduled and unscheduled needs.

Assisted Living is designed for those who are at a point in their life where it is too difficult to live alone.  They need some assistance but do not need to be in an institutional setting such as a nursing home.

Residents are usually age 80 or older and require help with bathing, dressing and medication reminders, meals, etc.

Services and care are provided in a way that promotes maximum independence and dignity for residents.  Personal care services such as assistance with bathing, dressing and medication reminders are available in the privacy of one's own apartment.  Assistance is given in response to each resident's individual needs in order to improve quality of life.

Services usually include:

Three meals served daily; housekeeping; medication Management; assistance with bathing and dressing; 24-hour staff; emergency call system in each apartment ;laundry service ;social and recreational programs; and transportation.

Punishment for domestic violence varies throughout the United States and overseas. Gwinn noted that offenders in San Diego are prosecuted, convicted and booted out of the military. In Cumberland County, N.C., on the other hand, convicted offenders are offered the option of a 16-week diversion treatment program.

 The success story :a role model

With her exotic model-like looks, vibrant personality, and love to be around people, Isha Salas could have been successful in a number of fields, but her choice was to help senior citizens who have ended up on the streets.

Known to many as the Mother Teresa of Houston, Salas has received commendation for her work from President Bill Clinton and former president George Bush. She received the 1996 John C Sealy Memorial Award for her outstanding accomplishment in the Houston community. And recently she received kudos from the National Immigration Forum for her service to the community.

While she was growing up in Trinidad, Salas's parents taught her to help the underprivileged without expecting anything in return. "During the festival seasons my parents took us to distribute food and clothes to the needy and taught us the pleasure in sharing," she said.

Migrating to Syracuse, New York, at age 13 to live with her older sister, Salas developed a drive to achieve her dream of being a business owner. By age 27, she was called to California to help her sister who was moving to Texas.

What was meant to be a stopover in San Antonio turned into relocation when Salas fell in love with the historic Texan city. About the time, Salas began her master's degree in occupational therapy at Texas Women's University. She also began noticing the neglected condition of many senior citizens in the city, and realised that the older-generation Americans lacked the family support that Indian families provided for their senior citizens, which led many to a state of loneliness and poverty.

 Here in India, abandoned by their parents owing to their physical and mental disabilities, as many as 43 children are being nursed in a warm shelter at the Mother Teresa Home being run by the Missionaries of Charity at Green Model in Bangalore here.

Abused Deaf Women's Advocacy Services (ADWAS)
ADWAS was founded  in Washington in 1986 by deaf women to provide services in a sensitive and healing environment for deaf and deaf-blind victims of sexual assault and domestic abuse in the Seattle area. ADWAS also coordinates education programs on topics such as positive deaf parenting, child advocacy and support, and community outreach. With grant funding from the Office for Victims of Crime, ADWAS is working to replicate it.

Old Age Homes in Karnataka

1.       Rose of Sharon Trust
Site No. 182, 2nd Block,
Katipalla, No.158,
Magalore Taluk,
Karnataka 575 030
Tel./Fax : +91 0824 2273282

2.       Shantidham
Location: On Kanakapura road soon after Sri Sri Sri Ravi Shakar's ashram
Phone: +91-80-28432887/26766696

Established by the Shantidham foundation. Doctors come twice a week to check the residents. They have tied up with Mahavir Jain Hospital for emergency medical facilities.

Fee: For a two bedded room, a refundable deposit of Rs 40,000 per person plus Rs 2,500 per person per month for maintenance. For a four bedded room, a refundable deposit of Rs 30,000 per person plus Rs. 2,000 per person per month for maintenance. Maintenance includes stay, vegetarian food, toiletries and laundry, furnishing, minor medical treatment by visiting doctors.

 

3.       Aid The Aged, 1492, 17th A Main Road, II Phase, J.P.Nagar, Bangalore-560078, (Paid and Free services).

4.       Arogya Matha Kendra, St.Lawrence Garden, Pademale PO, Mangalore-575005 (Payment type with deposit and monthly fee)

5.       The Bangalore Friend-In-Need Society, 3, Colonel Hill Road, Bangalore-560051, (Payment type with deposit and monthly fee. Free for some).

6.       Canara Bank Relief and Welfare Society, 27th Cross, Banashankari II Stage, Bangalore-560070 (Admission fee and deposit. Residents should make their own arrangement for food and other services).

7.       Eventide Home, St.Joseph's Convent, Whitefield, Bangalore-560066, (Independent self contained accomodation on payment. Residents to make arrangement for food and other services).

8.       Human Relations and National Integration Trust, 'Shanti Bhavan', 10, Jayalakshmipuram, Mysore-570012, (Payment type with deposit and fees and seperate fee for maintenance, food, etc. Single Room and Single Cottage).

 

We propose to set up similar shelters in Haryana & its neighboring areas for which we have approached the concerned authorities with our proposal to establish such a shelter with an attached office in the vicinity of Chandigarh which is well connected with the rest of the country by through rail, road and by air.